Lifelong Friends Make Life Longer

A friend and I are planning a trip to the beach and the mom and wife in me feels a little guilty. Should I take time away from my family to go spend time with girlfriends? It would be nice to sit on the beach and chat without having to take care of anyone for a little while, but I feel like I’m being selfish. Maybe I should take my kids to the beach instead.

Hmm.

It’s a tough call, but according to recent research, female friendships are important to our overall well-being and may even keep us from getting sick as we age. So, forget the guilt, because time with girlfriends keeps us healthy.

A study from UCLA suggests that when dealing with stress, women are overcome with a “tend and befriend” urge. Chemicals are released in our brains that motivate us to cultivate friendships.

I know when something upsets me, I babble on to everyone about it. Sometimes, I do it without even realizing. I tend to reach out to other women who may relate to what I’m going through. Venting to someone who may understand helps. It's like therapy.

Dr. Laura Cousin Klein, Ph.D., an author of the UCLA study who is also an assistant professor of bio-behavioral health at Penn State University says, “There's no doubt that friends are helping us live longer.”

The 2001 Harvard Nurses’ Health Study determined that lack of close friendships may be as unhealthy as being overweight or being a smoker, and will ultimately affect our quality of life. Having one good friend to confide in is all we need.

A 2000 study performed by David Spiegel, MD, a psychiatrist at Stanford University School of Medicine, found that psychosocial support helps women handle stress.

In light of all that evidence, I guess a day at the beach with friends is a worthwhile endeavor.  

Who knew that meeting our gal pals for happy hour may actually make us healthier? Shopping and stopping for coffee is alleviating our stress. Making new friends adds years to our lives.

Friends have always been an important part of my life and several of my friendships date back to my days at so they are very old and cherished friends who knew me before I became a wife and a mom.

Don’t get me wrong, I love being married and being a mom, but it’s easy to get caught up in being mommy and taking care of the house and cooking and cleaning. Sometimes you lose track of what you like to do and who you are. Old friends help you remember what kind of books you liked to read, what sports you were good at and who you were before you became who you are today.

New friends, as important as old friends, can relate to who you are now. I have found the new friendships I forge are usually with moms who have kids the same age as mine. Trying to juggle marriage, work and children is a common thread among all of us. We usually bond talking about how we navigate our busy lives.

So, according to scientific research and this mom’s experience, girl’s day out, nights out or weekends away are as good for us as going to the gym or taking our vitamins. 

So, meet the girls for happy hour, take a trip, go to the spa, and talk on the phone like you did when you were 14. It’s medicine for your body and soul.

Here are a few ideas for great times with the girls:

Check out this site for girlfriend getaways in Philadelphia; have brunch at in Cinnaminson or the Tortilla Press in Collingswood; enjoy happy hour at the Town Tavern in Riverside; have a great conversation and some appetizers anytime on the deck at Otts in Delran; enjoy live music and a free happy hour buffet on Fridays at Kaminski’s in Cherry Hill; sign up for book clubs at Barnes & Noble or your ; relish tea and little sandwiches at the in Riverton; go shopping and stop for coffee at Starbuck's on Main Street in Moorestown; take a trip to New Hope or Peddler’s Village.

Whatever your thing is, find a way to fit friendship into your life. Make new friends, strengthen old friendships. Your life and health depend on it, and your family will be thankful for a more relaxed, healthy and happy mom.